Sunday, June 7, 2009

FOOD BITCH!!!!!

"You have a problem, you are obsessed, this is getting crazy, you are a FOOD BITCH!!!!" The Chowwife- 7:50 p.m. Saturday night.

Okay, it looks like I may have to change the name of my blog from The Chowfather to the Food Bitch according to my wife.

Here's how it went down..

Earlier in the week we decided that we were going to go on a much needed dinner date a la the Obama's sans secret service. Unfortunately, she doesn't like the same places that I do for various reasons. Thus, I do not get to Yakko-San or Red Light as often as I would like. (She likes the food at Red Light but we've had a hectic year and don't do date nights as often as we have in the past so she usually opts for a spot with a little more ambiance/scene) Anyway, I created a dinner game a few years ago in order to assist us in coming to a mutual decision on a dinner spot. The game essentially allows her to pick the place out of a pool of MY favorites (soo Houston's never makes the list. On a side note, she raves about their veggie burger. I'm a reasonable guy and go with her for lunch...)

The game is fun (for me) and a win win.

I have a couple of variations to the game. Being the huge sports fan that I am, I normally set it up like the NCAA Tournament and rank my preferences from 1-8 or 16 depending on my food mood. 1 v 8, 2 v 7, 3v 6, 4 v 5 etc etc until there is one standing. (Yes, I am aware that I am a fork dork) This week I changed things up and put the restaurants in groups of 4 and had her select one from each in order to speed up the process.

My #1 choice this week was NAOE. I was really lobbying for it but knew she wasn't going to have the patience to sit through this type of dinner. (Thank god for Father's day.... I'm thinking NAOE for dinner, then the movie The Hangover followed by a late night stop at Yakko-San. Now that's a Trifecta babyyyy) Okay, the other 15 spots on my list were Michael's Genuine, Scarpetta, Sra. Martinez, Hakkasan, Michy's, Red Light, Meat Market, Bourbon Steak, Timo, Asia de Cuba, Valentino's, Steak 954, Pacific Time, Talula and Lola's on Harrison.

The final four ended up being Michael's Genuine, Pacific Time, Scarpetta and yesss NAOE. (she loves me, she really loves me)

The finals ended up being a Design District battle between Michael's Genuine and Pacific Time. Schwartz v. Eismann worked for me. Michael's Genuine prevailed BUT the decision was made too late and I was unable to secure a reservation. Pacific Time here we come!!!

The Conception of Food Bitch (immaculate of course)

Friday afternoon- Excited for our surprising first visit to PT, I emailed Frod's in depth Food for Thought-Pacific Time post to CW and told her to study up!!! Now, I need to advise you that unlike me, she HATES, LOATHES, DESPISES reviewing menus prior to sitting down at a restaurant. She also avoids reading blogs, reviews, chowhound etc. (why bother when you have me) That said, she actually read and enjoyed Frod's great post BUT handing her the menu I printed from menu pages was really pushing the envelope. Despite strategically placing it in various spots around the house including inside her US Weekly, she refused to touch it. Resorting to subtle menu dropping Friday night didn't help.

Birth sans epidural

Saturday- Since Michael's was our first choice I called over to see if they had any cancellations. The person who handles their reservations is always a pleasure to deal with and came through. We've been to Michael's several times but have not been to dinner there in a couple of months and the menu is always changing. Soooo, what did I do next?? Duhhh, I emailed her Frod's outstanding recent post Food For Thought- MGF&D where he discusses some of the recent menu changes.

Email Response- NO CHANCE I'M READING

6:00 p.m. Me - "hey any chance you will split the crispy pig ears"
CW- "Are you kididng me? Are you discussing the menu now??"
Me- "what if it's a salad??"
CW- "I'm not going"
Oh no, we can't have that- Me- "ohhh relax I'm just kidding"

6:30- I review the online menu and wine list , read chow thread and Frod's post. I spot a bottle of Pinot I like.

7p.m.ish Me-"any chance you will split a bottle of pinot"
CW- rolling of eyes followed by "I may be willing to discuss that in the car if you stop"
Wahoo the door is ajar...

En Route

7:48 Me-"sooo you in the mood for red?"
CW- "sighh, no, you know I don't like red"
Me- "no problem, sooo how about those crispy pig ears"
CW- "no chance"
Me-" crispy homemade pastrami???"
CW- "stop ruining the menu for me. I like to be surprised when I get there"
Me- "mmm, I think the Fudge Farm Pork Chop is still on the menu"
CW- " OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, YOU ARE OBSESSED, THIS IS GETTING CRAZY, YOU ARE A FOOD BITCH"


The night was perfect and our meals were great as usual. I went with the chargrilled octopus in lieu of the pastrami because I was also going with the pork chop. Both were outstanding. I will be back real soon for my pig ears and pastrami.

6 comments:

Frodnesor said...

Hilarious. I am sharing with Mrs. F so she will know she is not alone in her suffering. Even I've not resorted to a Sweet 16 format for restaurant decision-making (not yet anyway!).

While I love the food, I encourage you to exercise caution in testing your wife's patience with Naoe. We were there this past Saturday and while the bento came out without too much of a wait, Chef Cory really takes his time with the nigiri. Though Mrs. F's patience ran out after 2 hours, we were there for about 3 1/2 total. I'm just now getting out of the doghouse.

Pau said...

This made me laugh. I don't typically study menus too much before I go somewhere or decide what I'll order before I get there. My husband is actually up for most things but he was a really good sport about going to NAOE with me on Saturday night despite his aversion to raw fish. We were there for almost 4 1/2 hours - mostly because the curiosity of what would come next kept us going. Surprisingly, he loved all the food, which made me really happy because that means eventually we'll go back.

The Chowfather said...

Wow!! 3.5 and 4.5 hours? What takes so long and how much is the nigiri? NAOE doesn't sound like a good spot for a first date....

sara said...

Loved this! reminded of our last trip to NYC when I pulled out a stack of print-outs from menupages ans started highlighting them. Hubby was nice about it but I think deep down he was horrified at my food geekiness.
Oh and the nigiri at Naoe was $2 per salmon belly and $4 for the aji the night I went. I'm sure it varies.

Paula said...

We arrived at 7:30, got our bento box a little past 8 and then ate a lot (maybe too many) rounds of nigiri. We could've been out of there in maybe 2.5 hours but we kept eating... Guess prices have climbed because we paid $6 for the salmon belly 2 piece; $8 for the aji and went up to $13.50 for the uni.

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