Tuesday, February 19, 2013

VooDoo BBQ & Grill (Pembroke Pines)

Okay, this is the review people like South Florida Daily Blog have been clamoring for from me and other serious food bloggers.  No, not you second rate bloggers who love to write about schlocky chains or sub par establishments located in strip malls in the middle of suburban hell.

As I've said before, any schmuck with a car, some cash and a camera phone can pull into one of the vast strip malls across South Florida, plop down into some low tiered chain restaurant or an independently owned freezer to fryer spot and write a negative review.  But what is the point? I can walk down the block right now and enter ten establishments and have ten negative posts to write about.  But it's a waste of my money and my time and then you get to waste your time reading about it.   

I want my money back! And I think South Florida Daily Blog should reimburse me if this is the sort of review his followers desire. (Relax SFDB I'm kidding) 


So what possessed me to lose my food common sense and walk into VooDoo Doo Doo BBQ & Grill? It was primarily the positive three star review that both local dish rags carried.  When did newspapers stop requiring resumes and writing samples prior to hiring?  The individual who recommended VooDoo poo poo to the masses should write a follow up piece explaining how many BBQ shrimp he has had in New Orleans or how many slow cooked pieces of real BBQ have landed on his plate. I bet he can tweet those answers with room to spare for a hash tag.

If you really want some comic relief, go read this glowing review from some hack Food blogger Booger.   

In all seriousness, I was passing through the area when I saw the sign and recalled the palate clowns' review. Listen, I knew the place sucked as soon as I read his review.  I knew it sucked even more as soon as I walked inside the door.  But, I am fair and I never prejudge unless she is obese, has bad acne and a mustache.

The New Orleans lover in me wanted to give this place a fair shake and ordered way too much food.  But hey, how can resist chicken and sausage gumbo, BBQ Shrimp, Cajun smoked sausage and slow smoked brisket along with three house made BBQ sauces all in Pembroke Freakin Pines!!

Easily the worst gumbo I have ever had. Zero spice and twice the salt with no traces of chicken or sausage.

BBQ Shrimp "a New Orleans Classic", at least they got that part right.  They allegedly cook it in worcestershire and herb spiked butter sauce.  There was ZERO trace of worcestershire sauce in my bowl. These tasted more like an overly buttered box of popcorn.

House made BBQ sauces probably sounded like a good idea in the boardroom but they forgot that someone needed to create them.  Stick with Crystal.

I still can't believe I'm wasting my time writing this post while some moron is making even more money selling these franchises across the country. Anyway, there was nothing Cajun or spiced about their sausage and the brisket was overcooked and dry.  The three sauces were sad.

The douche bags that are trying to make a profit on New Orleans food by serving this garbage should be stopped in their footsteps.  People of Miami, do not accept this as representative of New Orleans food and more importantly do not waste your hard earned money on this sham.

Go support the chefs and restaurants doing things right and serving great food.

Voodoo BBQ & Grill on Urbanspoon


Whack-a-mole said...

Yeah, but Foodaholic Maria has some . . . "attributes" that you don't have.

Just wait 'til VooDoo opens on SOBE!

Anonymous said...

Much like Peter Wells review on Guy Fieri's restaurant your review makes you look like an angry moron. Most of us "morons" who believe this is good food at a fair price do understand just that. Not to mention, that I believe Voodoo is much better than many of its competitors.
Voodoo costs about $7-$8 per person. Not really the kind of food you review as you would a 4 star restaurant.
I cant wait for your review of Friday's or Chili's.
Chowfather - you come across as an angy moron in this review. You should keep chewing your food which will hopefully keep your mouth shut. This review was moronic.

The Chowfather said...


That was the exact point of the post. I'm gad you got it. Yes it is moronic for "food bloggers" to post about places like this.

Angry? Nah.

Thanks for reading!

Anonymous said...

Normally I really like your reviews and not to say I don't like this one because it's not about my preferences but I'm going to have to agree to disagree with you on this one. I happen to be a NOLA transplant living in Miami and make it a point to go back to the original VooDoo BBQ when I go home to visit family. I look forward to it every time I go home as much as I was looking forward to it opening here. I happen to have a culinary background and growing up in N.O. I feel as qualified as the average to comment on food from that area. I find this review not only harsh but written with an axe to grind; maybe you have issues with the food critic from the Sentinal not sure. Like I said I look forward to reading your reviews and maybe you sincerely had a bad experience but I can't go with you on this one. I've taken several friends and many have been back without me which for me is the ultimate sign they like the place. For a $10 avg ticket joint I'd put it right in the mix with top spots in this town for sure especially BBQ. Now if you want to compare to some N.O. institutions, i.e. Emeril's, Brennans, Commander's, well no BBQ spots will measure up. For me money more than well spent.

The Chowfather said...


Do yourself a favor and go to The Florida Cookery and order chef Wessel's BBQ Shrimp. They will blow your mind away and you will kick yourself for spending only one cent more for the REAL THING.

Say no to schlocky chains serving crappy food.

You can eat better and at similar prices people. Get your heads out of the red lobster trap.

Anonymous said...

You lost me at 'Pembroke Pines'... Also I think the other two anons are plants.

The Chowfather said...

No plants here. Actually considered deleting the anons but it's all good.

gcbron said...

Thanks for your review and photos. You saved me time and money. None of that food looked appetizing.

The Chowfather said...

GC, good to hear!

featherinhishat said...

Awesome. I think there's a little rag doll of you being stabbed with needles though.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

You see how gcbron thanked you for saving them time and money because of your NEGATIVE review? There in lies the whole point behind writing a negative review. For the most part, people work hard for their money and spending your hard earned money at a crappy restaurant is an unpleasant experience to say the least. Having someone say, "hey this place sucked," can be time and money saved for the reader. Most readers (like gcbron) will appreciate that. It doesn't make you a yelper, it makes you honest.

Weber Grill Recipes said...

So yummy looking pics! Can't wait to eat those delicious foods :)

Foodaholic said...

Hello there Mr. Chowfather. This is Maria, aka to you, the Food Booger. I have never met you, nor read your blog, (you don't interest me) but I am glad you follow mine. In the food industry, like in all others, we all have opinions and we have the right to express them. I don't know what gives you the misconception that yours is the only one that counts. I chuckle and feel warm and fuzzy inside, that you feel so threatened by me and my success in the industry, that you must resort to lowly attacks on my person. Obviously, people regard what I have to say and it bothers you. You, unfortunately, sound like an angry little man. At any rate, thanks for the backlink (that's how I discovered this), and continue pretending to know about food, counselor. Nite nite!

The Chowfather said...


Don't get so excited, I don't follow you at all. Saw your train wreck on Urbanspoon.

Glad you are standing behind your rave review of Voo Doo. Good for you. Proves you have no tongue.

Angry? yes by alleged food bloggers who have no clue what they are talking about, troll for free meals and free blogger events and do a HUGE disservice to all of the restaurants in town that are doing things the right way and deserve support from the community.

You are a FRAUD.

Peace out!

Antoine Lockhart said...

I was specifically attracted to your colorful place. I love eating in places where it is not only food that is kind of different but as well as the place itself. Barbecue grill houses and other restaurants are almost the same but I believe yours can offer something more than what I used to have whenever I eat outside.

Chloe Wallace said...

One of the things that I want from barbecue grill houses is their tasty chicken barbecue, not for barbecued shrimp.

MEC Garcia said...

I can't wait to have a visit on this Barbecue grill house! Their chicken bbq looks so juicy and I'm really excited to taste it. :)